Centered Man vs. Nice Guy

A guide for recovering Nice Guys.

1. The Centered Man is accountable. He recognizes that he is the only person who is ultimately responsible for his successes and failures in life.

The Nice Guy blames others for his problems, particularly with women. Instead of working on himself, he designates all women as materialistic, devious, and bitchy. Red-Pillers are simply disgruntled Nice Guys who congregate in the echo chambers of the Internet.

2. The Centered Man is authentic in his actions towards others. He respects his own needs, yet places a high value on making others feel good emotionally, regardless of looks or status. He understands his value, and is undeterred if others don't reciprocate his gestures.

The Nice Guy is devious. His actions towards others are based on his need for approval. He is shaken if his superficial friendliness is rejected by others, which is what often occurs.

3. The Centered Man is friendly and charming with all women. He is genuinely interested in each woman's story. When he meets a beautiful woman, interacting with her is seamless and second-nature.

The Nice Guy places women he is attracted to on a pedestal. He fetishizes their beauty, and becomes fearful and creepy in their presence.

4. The Centered Man prioritizes fun for himself and his date when he is out. He asks interesting questions to get to know her, and is not solely concerned with impressing her. He does not fantasize about relationships with women he just met, even if they are beautiful. He also is careful to determine if his date fits HIS criteria for a long-term partner.

The Nice Guy's primary objective is to impress and the win the heart of his date, even if he doesn't know her well. He is willing to spend extravagant amounts of money on expensive dates and gifts for women he just met. He expects affection or sex as a barter for these gifts, often in vain.

5. The Centered Man recognizes that humor is merely a component-- not the foundation-- of attraction. He doesn't feel the need to have a witty quip or pop culture reference throughout his conversations. He also knows that women often find him humorous because they already have a high level of attraction to him, not vice versa. The Nice Guy believes that humor is the primary way to attract a woman. On dates, he acts like a self-depreciating clown, and struggles to contribute to conversations with any substance.

6. The Centered Man makes an effort to set definitive date plans--time, day of the week, activity--even if he is in a long-term relationship. After making the initial plans, he shares his plans with partner/date and works with her to finalize. The Nice Guy defers to his partner first before making date plans, often burdening the woman with planning the date, making the Nice Guy appear (accurately) disinterested or lazy. Men who have been married for a long time are particularly egregious offenders in this category.

7. The Centered Man’s primary hobbies involve physical activity or developing a dynamic skill.

The Nice Guy's primary hobby is video games or watching movies and TV

8.The Centered Man maintains friendships with women whom he genuinely finds interesting and wants to be friends with, regardless if he is attracted to them or not. If a romantic interest rejects him, he does not feel obligated to maintain a friendship with her if he still has feelings for her. If he does not wish to maintain a friendship with a romantic interest, he explains his viewpoint respectfully, prioritizing his self-worth.

The Nice Guy willingly acts an emotional sounding board/tampon with romantic interests under the guise of friendship, even if it isn't his true intention-- which is to have a romantic/sexual relationship. After waiting in the wings with his intentions hidden, he will often resent the object of his unrequited affection, and will act out with insults and passive aggressiveness.

9. The Centered Man is boldly vulnerable, and is unafraid to reveal his true intentions, emotions, interests and history. He does not prioritize time with those who are unwilling to accept his true nature. He values freedom to be himself completely above all else. He views rejection, even from a beautiful woman, as an opportunity to effectively remove someone from his life who doesn't accept him wholeheartedly. He is not afraid to disagree with women he

The Nice Guy formulates his actions primarily based on winning the approval of others, particularly attractive women. He is afraid the reveal his true interests or intentions for fear of embarrassment or rejection. He views rejection as an indictment of his own self-worth, and avoids being polarizing in any fashion.

10. The Centered Man's happiness is derived from pursuing and achieving his own purpose, rather than his romantic relationships. He has a driving goal or interest that takes priority over sex, women, and relationships. He understands that high quality women are a (wonderful) byproduct of boldly pursuing one's ambitions without compromise. The Nice Guy's primary source of happiness comes from women, whether it is pursuit of romantic relationships, desire for numerous sexual partners, or dating women for purely egotistical purposes. They become downtrodden when this aspect of their life is not bearing fruit, and become unbalanced in their pursuits.