Maintaining your Masculine Energy while being in a relationship
Relationships can put men in an extremely feminine frame if they aren’t careful. Avoid complacency and these common pitfalls.
Today I saw a very interesting video interview with Robert Greene.
He theorized that being in relationship feminizes men, and makes women more masculine. This has a dissolving effect, where each other’s characteristics rub off on one another.
The second part of his argument is foolish, where he states that feminizing men makes them more empathetic, and encourages women to imprint their energy on men. Ignore that part of the video.
However, I thoroughly agree with the first part of his argument and believe it relationship-induced social isolation has a very detrimental effect on men.
When your only social outlet is your romantic partner, you begin lose your identity. In particular, men lose their masculine edge, and complacency begins to creep in. I’ve experienced this at certain points myself—having been in a relationship for the past five years— and it’s something I have seen consistently with numerous men I’ve worked with.
Even if your woman is balanced, feminine, and not toxic, you will nonetheless evolve if she is your sole or primary social partner.
It’s crucial that as men we balance our romantic lives with consistent competition and bonding with other men, otherwise we degenerate and pussi-fy rapidly.
This is easier said than done. Even the most emotionally intelligent woman will feel threatened internally by male bonding relationships and activities outside what she has created for her man.
Women are extremely jealous when they witness men obtaining emotional fulfillment without them. However, a truly balanced woman will shame or disrupt her man’s male friendships, despite her insecurities. This is rare.
The modern Catch 22 is that women claim to want masculine men, yet don’t support activities, habits, and relationships that are absolutely required for their men to replenish their masculine energy. In a world that’s over-reliant on technology, inundated with processed foods, and disconnected from nature, men are fighting an uphill battle with maintaining natural testosterone levels, and their masculine spirit, which is fueled by struggle and physical exertion.
Simply put, if you want your man to be masculine, he has to spend consistent time competing, bonding, and interacting with other men. Otherwise, Robert Green’s theory is correct—the man settles into a feminine frame, while the woman becomes more masculine. This upsets the natural order of things, and strife ensues in the relationships.
MEN NEED TIME TO BE MEN.
When a man is in a relationship, one of his primary motivating factors for fitness, self-evolution, and attuning social skills is significantly decreased—his need to attract women. When this desire is seemingly fulfilled, he relaxes and becomes more complacent.
This is why men should never put women and relationships at the center of their emotional universe.
If you enter a relationship, you have to be vigilant about maintaining your identity, your purpose (outside the relationship), and especially your fitness. Here are some ways to maintain your masculine edge.
Maintain boundaries about the time you need to maintain your physical fitness. Men many feel guilt for prioritizing physical fitness over time with their woman, but you have to be vigilant and to protective over the significant time it takes to stay physically fit. She will benefit by having the best version of you—the one that is in good shape, mentally healthy, protective, and confident.If she disrupts gym time, she gotta go.
Consistent time must be spent bonding and COMPETING with other men. Playing sports, martial arts, competitive games, or engaging in building/creative projects with other men is crucial. Competitive energy is the foundation of masculine energy—it pushes you emotionally and stresses your systems in a positive manner.
Don’t lose sight of your purpose. A man’s priority should be his family, but it can’t be his sole purpose in life. Men need to create, advance, and impact others with their natural talents. This inherent masculine quality can’t be snuffed out when you enter a relationship.
Get into a little danger/trouble. This doesn’t mean you have to go around breaking laws, but occasionally doing some activities with a mild risk involved keep you from being scared of going outside the rules a little. Drink a little extra whiskey, smoke a cigar, go to a metal concert, go on a motorcycle, rafting, or surfing. Take some risks.
Discussion:
Have you ever found yourself feeling more feminine in a relationship, particularly if you neglected your male friendships.
Which activities do you feel replenish your masculine energy?
Do you feel the same applies to women and they become more masculine if they spend the majority of of time with their man?
What is a good way men can maintain their rebellious spirit and take risks without being too destructive?
I used to play soccer while training wrestling on a near competitive level. That’s when I peaked. But recently, pinup art is my most masculine activity. Because the women are nude or nearly nude and you see them as muses. Then of course your customers are male. I loved interacting with my customers.
It’s genuinely hard to maintain masculine polarity in a relationship. You’re not just navigating her — you’re constantly absorbing her worldview, preferences, family, and friends. If you’re not sharpening your edge daily, you’ll soften without even noticing.