Teasing: The most important seductive skill
Guys who can effectively tease have the most dating success—and get Friendzoned less
Back in 2018, a study was released by the Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg in Germany, which claimed that couples who roast and tease each other were often the happiest:
"Women reported more often that they tended to be satisfied with their relationship and felt more attracted to their partner. They and their partners also tended to be equally satisfied with their sex life…"
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/10/181016094417.htm
Of course, anyone who’s been in a fun, flirtatious relationship doesn’t need a study to know this is true.
Teasing is a natural, fundamental part of banter between men and women who share mutual attraction.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys completely forget this when they’re in the early stages of dating. They go into stiff, White Knight mode, where they prefer ask a perpetual series of generic questions—to the point where the date becomes more like an awkward interview.
Women can’t stand this.
Lack of playful, teasing banter is often the primary reason why most guys get friendzoned, and never make it past the first date. Effective teasing puts you in a Boyfriend Frame from her perspective. You are a potential romantic partner, not a platonic friend.
It’s an unnatural dynamic when the man puts the woman on an unrealistic pedestal, is terrified to offend her, or believes that teasing is disrespectful and mean. This is a deluded Nice Guy mindset, which ultimately puts you in a Platonic Friend Frame.
Women don’t want to be with a guy who acts like he’s a knight squiring her around town—sworn to defend her honor, no laughter, just business.
Good conversation alone is NOT ENOUGH to spark attraction on dates. Her emotions have to be spiked.
Coupled with subtle physical touch, teasing is the most crucial component of this for the following reasons:
It establishes comfort. It demonstrates you view her as a human, and don’t put her on a weird worship pedestal.
If demonstrates confidence. Teasing comes with the inherent risk of offending. Guys who show a willingness to take this risk are extremely attractive.
It subtly demonstrates leadership. Guys who tease effectively lead the interaction, this is a position you want to be in on dates. You want to lead the energy dynamic on the date.
It demonstrates wit and calibrated social skills
What is effective teasing?
Effective teasing demonstrates social ease and freedom. It’s part of who you are—someone who’s self amused about the small shit and likes to have fun. You need to already have strong frame if you want to effectively tease.
Otherwise, if you are teasing her to get a reaction, or are trying to elevate yourself above her, then it usually comes off as forced and awkward, and ultimately backfires.
Teasing has to be part of the natural conversation flow. If every other comment is a minor jab, then it will get old quickly and look fake.
My favorite way to tease is to have an amused or slightly exaggerated reaction to something she says or does. If she makes a joke that doesn’t land, or says something awkward, pause for a second, give a small smirk and say, “Well, this has been fun..” and playfully pretend like you’re going to leave.
You can also disagree with her playfully about something—keep it light though. You don’t want to tease her about a religion, a political belief, or her family. For instance, if she says she likes a certain food, you don’t need to flat out diss her preference. As always, be playful, fun, have a self-amused demeanor—use a disqualifier.
“Hey, it’s great you like [thing she mentioned], I don’t think this is going to work though.”
The most effective use of teasing is when it’s used along with physical touch (Kino). As you’re playfully joking, lightly hold her hands under yours (i.e. the Princess Hand Hold). Physical touch amplifies the emotions she feels after being teased. Physical touch is crucial to effectively spike her emotions, along with the playful teasing.
If you’re not feeling bold enough to initiate physical contact, make a playful comment about her jewelry, or nails, while initiating light physical touch.
“This is a very bright color…I like it though.”
Always make teasing a part of your self amused persona. You can’t be too attached to outcome or trying to impress her, or you’ll be too in your head to effectively tease.
FUN is your primary objective. If you are confident and playful, and not trying to use too much of canned routine, teasing will help establish comfort and frame you as romantic partner, not an interviewing platonic friend.
Discussion:
What is the most effective way to tease that you’ve used?
When has teasing backfired on you?
If you’re not in a confident frame, should you tease, or avoid altogether?
What’s do you think is the difference between teasing and begging?
I think most guys are fully aware that teasing is an effective maneuver for dating. Trouble is they don't know how to do it very well, so they don't