The proper way to make a move out of The Friend Zone

Giving a grand confession your feelings will only make her feel cornered and uneasy. This isn’t a rom-com, dork.

The biggest mistake you can make if you are trying to convert a friend into a romantic partner is to make an announcement of your feelings:

“I like you as more than a friend.”

“I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”

To make things worse, guys will follow up these type of “confessions” with the question of whether she feels the same.

The answer is almost always a ‘no’, in some shape or form.

That’s because these type of confessions make women feel cornered—as if someone is suddenly putting a spotlight on them, and is expecting a certain response. Ninety-nine percent of the time they already know if a guy has feelings for them. It doesn’t need to be said.

If you are actually interested in dating her, rather than using her as an emotional sounding board, you have to frame yourself as a potential romantic partner, not creepy friend who vomits his feelings without warning.

- Simply begin to incrementally flirt with her more often. You can’t go from 0-10, it has to be subtle. Also, don’t flirt for the sake of getting a reaction; see if you both have chemistry. Have fun. You might find she isn’t a good fit for YOU beyond friendship.

- 0-2: make a casual comment about her appearance that you genuinely feel. “You look great when you wear your hair that way”. “You look really cute in that color.” Express it in a way that you didn’t really notice it until now, and that you’re making more of an observation rather than an overt compliment.

- 2-4: The next time you see her, jokingly tease her (not neg), the same way a boyfriend would joke around with his girlfriend. “I don’t know if we’d work as a couple, you’re ridiculous sometimes”. Whatever works in your dynamic; don’t make it as a cutdown to lower her self confidence. You both should be in on the joke. The teasing should be playful, not malicious.

- 4:6: Use subtle, innocent touch when interacting with her. Don’t overdo it. Touch her knee or arm when emphasizing a point in the conversation or making a joke. If you’re walking through a public place, gently touch her back as you navigate through people.

If she seems responsive to the escalations, then just simply ask her out, not to get coffee as friend, but on an actual date.

If she says she doesn’t see you as more than a friend, you have your answer. If you don’t want just friendship, then tell her so in an upfront, but respectful manner. Until the feelings fade, keep your distance and keep meeting other women. Your ability to handle rejection like it doesn’t phase you will make you more attractive.