Uncomfortable truths on what makes a woman want to settle down

Let’s unpack what really makes a woman want to settle down—she needs to believe she can lose you. This may trigger you.

- She believes he is out of her league or superior to her in some manner. Women only want to be with guys who they believe are more valuable. If she thinks he is better looking, has better social skills or status, is smarter, has more confidence, etc. She has to look up to him and feel she is out of her depth in some manner

- She has to believe that other women desire him. Whether that is reality or not, she has to have the fundamental belief that she is competing for his attention with other women and is lucky to have his attention. This is a key factor: She will be more likely to want to settle down with you if she believes you have dating options and there’s a high likelihood she can lose you.

- She has to value the relationship more than he does. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t value the relationship or care about her, but she has to care about it more than he does, even if it’s a little. In all my experience, and what I’ve observed, if the man cares more than the woman does, she loses interest. She wants to know he cares, but natural dynamic that leads to successful relationships is if THE WOMAN cares more.

- At the same time, she perceives he has the capacity for loyalty. This is why guys who are attractive, but don’t flaunt their abilities with women are incredibly attractive. Guys who actively perpetuate an image of a fuck boy or demonstrate that they are untrustworthy, she won’t be as likely to be seen as a long term option

- He demonstrates he can provide long term safety and resources. This doesn’t mean he has to necessarily be rich, or even have a good job, but he can problem solve is self-assured, and can handle himself in the world. Holding frame with her fundamentally makes her feel safe.

- He doesn’t put her on a pedestal, and sometimes thinks he can do better. The truth is, women partner up with guys who think they’re mid at times. The link below is an example of this, if the concept doesn’t make sense. This is a tweet from a ‘sex influencer’ who is moderately attractive, but nonetheless has thousands of men thirsting over her. However, her actual boyfriend made a statement to her during an argument that she wasn’t that pretty. He probably believed that at times too. Once the novelty of a woman’s looks wears off, she becomes human at some point, she’ll look bad from time to time. She’s human, we all are. The point is, never frame a woman to be put on a pedestal if you actually want to be in a relationship.

https://x.com/Aella_Girl/status/1698942067890598274?lang=en&mx=2

Important: I also want to add that timing is a monumental factor that isn’t discussed, and the element you have least control over. I think that a woman truly has to be in a headspace where she values consistency, comfort, and stability over novelty. A guy can meet these criteria, but she may just not be in the headspace where she wants to settle down. Another factor to keep in mind.

TLDR: Be attractive, be a little less invested, don’t put her on a pedestal, even when other guys may thirst over her.

You have to truly mentally frame yourself as the one with more value. It’s the uncomfortable truth, don’t shoot the messenger.